Red Dragon Inn

If I had to pick a single game to play for the rest of my life, it would, of course, be Dungeons & Dragons. But if I had to pick a single board game, it would be Red Dragon Inn. Which bears a lot of similarities to D&D. There's opportunities for roleplay and showing a lot of personality, as well as encouraging interacting with other players in-character. So it works great for me. 

I also have some very nice memories of playing RDI. 

I met one of my dear friends playing RDI. He was playing Gog the Ogre, and I was playing Fleck the Bard. I just had so many easy chances to push his buttons, and by the end of the game, I wasn't sure if he was going to kiss me or beat me up (turns out we ended up doing some of both). 

Then there's the chainmail bikini. 

Fiona, from RDI1, has the card "Hey! No more chain mail bikini jokes!" I had friends who were making chain mail items, so I commissioned a pink-and-black chain mail bikini. And for a time, anyone who played Fiona was peer-pressured into wearing that chain mail bikini. The real test was whether they put it on over their clothes or stripped down for it. The guys generally agreed it pulled chest hair pretty badly...

Now, Fiona doesn't get played very often at my house anymore, because I've collected so many of the RDI expansions that I now have around 50 characters available. Which means that I haven't even played all of them. Yet. But I will, sooner or later. I made a Google document to track which ones I have.

And I'm still collecting.  RDI 10 will be coming out before long - I've supported the Kickstarter for it already. I got RDI9 through Kickstarter, as well.

So far, everything I have (except the chainmail bikini) fits in the larger box from RDI5. 

Wassail Recipe

I've begun a tradition of making wassail for certain events, all around midwinter, each year. Each time I make it, I look up several recipes to figure out what I should include, and then I pretty much wing it. This time, I'm writing down a recipe to come back to. All the measurements are approximate guesses - add things until your heart is happy (or your crockpot is full).

This tastes great, is super easy to make, and it makes the house smell amazing while it simmers.

The Basic Recipe:

Apple Cider        8-10 cups           my crockpot will hold about 10 cups

Orange Juice       2 cups                pulp-free Simply Orange is my preference

Lemon Juice       1/2 cup    

Honey                 1/2 cup               Honey OR Brown Sugar, not both

Brown Sugar      1 Tbsp                Honey OR Brown Sugar, not both

Cloves (ground) 1-2 tsp                you can also use 10-15 whole cloves

Cinnamon          1-2 tsp                or 4-6 sticks, or a mix of the two

Ginger                1/2 tsp

Nutmeg              1/2 tsp

Options & Extra Additions:

Apples & Oranges     cut up a couple of each and float the pieces - get the smaller ones

Star Anise                  enough to float and be pretty

Cranberries                enough to float and be pretty

Cranberry Juice         instead of the Lemon Juice (Pineapple Juice is also an option, but not for me)

Instructions:

Put all the juices in the crockpot and turn it on high. Don't overfill it - you need room for mixing. I always put too much cider in, instead of leaving room for the rest. Then turn the crockpot on high and leave it alone for like half an hour so it can get warm.

Add the honey and the ground spices, mix it well. The honey won't mix at first, but once it's warm, be sure to get it all off the bottom of the pot.

Cut up the apples and oranges. Remember to take the stickers off before cutting them up. Smaller fruit lets you make pretty slices that will float on top.

Add other floating pieces - the cinnamon sticks, star anise, and/or cranberries.

Let it cook for a couple of hours, stirring occasionally. Then turn it to low and let it simmer that way until the end of your event or until it runs low.

I suggest putting a ladle in a bowl, sitting on a tray, for serving. Ladle a generous amount into large coffee mugs. Try to get a little of the floating pieces into each mug. 

Optionally, top with whipped cream and some shaken cinnamon, a swirl of caramel, or a cinnamon stick tucked in.

If there's any left, let it cool, then pour it back into the cider jug without any of the floating bits. Label the jug WASSAIL, and you can microwave it for a quick warm drink.

Pride and Privilege

Who am I? Well, I am not who I was raised to be.

Based on the expectations I grew up with, I should be a college-educated, upper middle class, white Christian woman in a monogamous heterosexual marriage with two to four children and a steady career as a white-collar professional. That is who I was raised to be.

That is not who I am. 

Paradox of Tolerance

 

I have a whole writing somewhere on Tolerance. And I can't find it right now, but I am posting this here so as to never lose it, because it's important.

Edit: I found that writing - Tolerance Is My Value System.

Trump. Again.

Trump. Again. So we've all got the news this morning, and I'm pretty sure everyone I care anything about is cycling between depressed, raging, afraid, disgusted, worried, and resigned. I just can't believe any kind of reasonable people can make this decision. I want to lash out, but where? There's not a reasonable target to do so - some of my friends are renting a rage room this evening, though. 

Mismatched Socks

 

I wear mismatched socks. On purpose.

Because of health reasons, I wear compression socks all the time. And they come in packs of like 6 pair in various colors, and half are grey. So when I do laundry, I dump all the socks into one pile, I don't match them, and I pull out one color and one grey to wear each day. So my socks are always deliberately mismatched.

Favorite Books to Read Again

A few years back, I made a list of books I have reread the most times and would recommend. Here's what I came up with, and I may add a few.

Cuckoo's Egg - I've gone through at least four copies of this book since I was a pre-teen. I love this world and a lot of the philosophical discussions that are awoken by the situations in the book. https://www.amazon.com/Cuckoos-Egg-Alliance-Union-Universe-Cherryh/dp/0886770831

Xanth (series) - started reading these with my sister when we were young, and just... love over and over. Magic, bad puns, puzzles, and friendship. I have been made aware in recent years of some really problematic misogynism therein, and I've been afraid to go back and read with that lens - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09MK2PJSR

Dresden Files (series) - Saving The Universe, One Random Act of Destruction at a Time. The best wizard named Harry. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074CF4JMZ

Tales of Alvin Maker (series) - Seventh Son is another I've gone through multiple copies of. Alternate history where cottage magic works. The first several are great, but they weaken as the series progresses (much like Ender's Game by the same author) - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0841YCLH8

Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol - if you've never read the book, do - there is so much richness there that can't be shown on stage. If possible, I recommend the reproduction of the first edition little red book with the original illustrations. - https://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Carol-silkbound-Arcturus-Classics/dp/1398814199

Men Are Like Waffles Women Are Like Spaghetti - I will rarely read, let alone recommend, a self-help/relationship book. But this one made a lot of ideas 'click' in my head. Just understand that you have to replace 'men' and 'women' with 'some people' - https://www.amazon.com/Men-Like-Waffles-Women-Spaghetti-Understanding/dp/0736968881

The Chronicles of Narnia (Narnia series) - as a child, fine fantasy. As an adult I re-read and saw a lot of Christian mythology. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000QQKTGI

Rogue Warrior (series) - A guilty pleasure (and Rubi's choice) -you can tell when I've been reading these because my language devolves. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087DZVNCL

Dragon Prince (series) - Detailed regal-dynasty fiction with dragons. I learned a lot of lessons on how to manage people in here, too. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074CF7K6D

Kushiel's Legacy (series) - Great world-building with a kinky twist. There's three trilogies, and I recommend them highly at the beginning, with love for them decreasing with each one. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B074CGQ95W

I Wake Up On Mondays

I wake up on Mondays making lists in my head, hit the ground running. 

Conversations to follow up on, things to research, tasks to handle. 

Unpacking from whatever I did over the weekend, prepping for the one coming. 

People to remind to do things for me, thank them for things they did, check on how they are doing. 

IDEAS. Information I want to share, things I want to start working on. 

The work week begins the same way; reports, check-ins, and stand-ups. 

Planning everything. Too many things on the to-do list.

But somehow by the end of the day, if it's not all crossed off, it's less frantic and it's in some sort of priority order. 

Things got done, plans have been made, and the week is rolling and ready.

Unbecoming Everything I Wasn't Meant To Be

I was born with this body. I don't love it, but it's the one I have. But this body isn't me.

This body is fat. I enjoy food, and I'm not interested in giving up my pleasure to be thinner.

This body hurts all the time. I'm a bad-ass bitch who takes that pain and laughs at it.

This body is soft and weak. I will take it to the limits of what it can handle.

This body is curvy and feminine. I reject that label as an identity.

Children are Hard

 

Every stage is the hardest, especially with your first, and you've never done it before.

- Babies are so helpless and dependent on you 28 hours a day and what if you mess up?

- Toddlers are willful and 'no' and don't listen and can barely communicate and have so much energy. How can you possibly keep up?

- School-age kids are learning so much and exposed to the world and all it's heartbreak and depth of possibilities. How do you protect and support them?

- Preteens are so busy with themselves and their circle and activities and so many things. How do you guide them in the right direction?

- Teens are changing so fast and so sure they don't need you and they know everything. How can you stay important in their lives?

- Young adults are going out on their own and have to do it themselves and learning how to manage it themselves and you can't do it for them. How can you help but still encourage their independence?

- And then they aren't dependent on you, and you don't need to keep up, and they can protect themselves, and they've got their own direction, and they decide what's important, and they are independent. And they become your friend instead of your child, and everything else was completely worth it.

Sticks Don't Hit People

 

The problem is that neither of these is the answer to the problem. If you take the stick away from the bully, he'll just pick up a rock or something else and continue his aggression. If you give every kid a stick, now you're teaching them all to be violent.

Customize Yourself

 

We customize our cars, our houses, our water bottles, our online profiles, our offices... everything around us gets that special touch to identify it as ours. So why not our bodies? I mean, we start young with developing our own clothing style. Then it's hairstyle and jewelry. Maybe hair color, hair cut, body piercings.

Grandpa Bear

Let me tell you about the birthday present I got this year that almost-but-didn't-quite make me cry. When I was tiny, I got a large stuffed bear from my grandparents. I've held onto him for something like 46 years now. Here's baby me with my Grandpa Bear. Given the pictures near this one where I found it in a scrapbook, I was very close to my second birthday. In fact, that might have been a birthday present. There's a cake with two candles in the next picture.

Good Enough is... Good Enough (Job Hunting)

In one of my online discussion spots, there is someone asking advice about job hunting - about cover letters and interviews and convincing someone to hire them. So here we are, and I'm going to sum up some of my part of the advice with something I wish I'd been taught.

You don't have to sell yourself as a Star. 

You can just be Good Enough.

See, I was a Gifted Kid(TM). I was always told that I could be a star at whatever I wanted to do. I was put on the path of greatness and told I had to go as far as I could go. I was gonna be better! I was going to change the world! My future included being the CEO or President of something, a name everyone knew, someone everyone looked up to. 

That's Just How I Am: Two Takes

 

Unless you phrase it differently. Rather than 'that's just how I am; take it or leave it', try on 'I like being this way; it's okay if you don't like it'. I'm weird, and I know it. But it's not that I'm unwilling to change in ways that correct my flaws; instead it's more that I have accepted and embraced my differences and realized that they aren't flaws. They may not be to your taste, and that's okay; you don't have to like me. But I do like me, and the people I chose to keep around me do like me and my weirdnesses. You can choose to be part of that circle or not, and neither choice is wrong.

Now obviously, I'm not talking about the toxic traits that are bad for you and the people around you. I'm just responding to that first line. If there are toxic traits about you, you need to recognize and correct them. For your own sake.

I Was Thirsty, So I Ordered Toilet Paper

I got thirsty this morning, and ended up ordering toilet paper. Because this is how my mind works. I'll take you on this journey with me, where I dig myself down into a hole and back out of it again.

While working, I realized I was thirsty. I went to take a drink of my Coke, but it was empty. So I crushed the can and dropped it in the bin, then grabbed a glass to pour some water. That left the pitcher low, but I couldn't refill the pitcher because there was a dirty bowl soaking in the sink and blocking where the pitcher would need to sit. So I needed to do dishes. I emptied the dishwasher and started rinsing dirty dishes to refill it, but then realized with all the bending over and running water that I needed to go to the bathroom.

Naturally-Carved Jack-O-Lantern

I found this image posted on Facebook in a few places. And I found it wonderfully horrific. Also suitable to my usual laziness. 

So I got a big fat pumpkin and some peanut butter. I found this article about having a naturally-carved pumpkin:
https://flannelandflame.com/2020/10/19/train-squirrels-to-carve-your-pumpkin

Using a drill to make holes in the pumpkin is something I've done before. I like it as a lazy carving technique.

I thought you guys might like to follow along the progress, so I'll take some pictures and we'll see what happens.

It sounds like it could take as few as a couple of days for the squirrels to do their work, and then it'll go bad like a week later. Which means this might be a trial run before Halloween, and we do another later.

Pronouns as Canaries

I have some outside reading to refer you to this time - 'Pronouns are the Canary in the Coal Mine' - go ahead; go read it first. But the short version is that telling someone your pronouns is a simple measure of how they will (or won't) respect you overall.

We wear a vest almost all the time when we're out of the house. When I meet people, I will often point to the patches on my vest as I introduce myself. One has our name, and the other shows our pronouns. After I've done that, I generally won't say much about my pronouns, though I typically will use plural pronouns in conversation a lot (for those new to my space, we use both plural and singular personal pronouns - I/me/my/mine and we/us/our/ours - depending on intent).

Religion, Worship, Prayer

 A couple of friends lately have brought up the subject of prayer and worship with me, and I rather like one of the answers I've typed out, so I'll share parts of it. 

First, context. I was raised casually-Christian. In that I understood I was a Christian, I went to church a handful of times a year with various family members, but I didn't really have any active worshipping or churching happening in my life. I also occasionally went to synagogue or temple with various friends or classmates. I went to school with a lot of Jewish friends, so 7th and 8th grade meant a lot of Bar and Bat Mitzvahs (is there a collective term for that?). I went to a Baptist summer camp, and was baptized at least a couple of times (I'm pretty sure I was baptized as a baby, too?).

As I got older, I learned more about other religions, both real-world and fictional.  I took a couple of cultural anthropology courses, which were enthralling for examining religions from without. Sci-fi and fantasy fiction world-building have to include religion as part of those worlds, and often include a lot of thought and discussion about how a particular religious view can influence entire moral structures and behavior mores. If you ask me now about my guiding faith, I'll point you toward IDIC (https://meronym-thoughts.blogspot.com/p/idic-infinite-diversity-in-infinite.html). Yep, that's from Star Trek.

You Can Be Anything You Want To Be

 You can be anything you want to be. You can even be 'just' what you are...

I was a Gifted Child(TM) and was told over and over I could be anything. And when I got into the working world, I had multiple bosses, during reviews, push me toward that next promotion or that harder, higher-paying job.

But you know what? I don't want a promotion. I like what I do, and I am REALLY good at it. I feel valued by my coworkers and clients and supported by my boss, and I love having the answer for things when people ask. 

Better yet, I get paid a very comfortable salary and have excellent working hours (from home even), and have plenty of time and energy left to do non-work things.

It took a while to stop feeling guilty because I wasn't going for CEO and President and stuff, and instead just enjoy where I'm at. But I'm there.