Grandpa Bear

Let me tell you about the birthday present I got this year that almost-but-didn't-quite make me cry. When I was tiny, I got a large stuffed bear from my grandparents. I've held onto him for something like 46 years now. Here's baby me with my Grandpa Bear. Given the pictures near this one where I found it in a scrapbook, I was very close to my second birthday. In fact, that might have been a birthday present. There's a cake with two candles in the next picture.

Anyway, Grandpa Bear has been with me ever since. But he has gotten a little rough over that time. A few holes appeared in his seams - one under each arm, and he started leaking his filling a bit. So for the last ten years or so, he's been wearing a tiny tee-shirt to keep him together. And as stuffed animals do over the years, he'd gotten a little lopsided. The fur on his snout had a crunchy sort of texture, and was pressed in. He was in need of some care.

So for my birthday, my daughter fixed him up. She took him home some months ago. I remember an urge to yank him back out of her arms when she went to leave my house with him. "But my bear!" But he went home with her. And over the next weeks, I'd look at the space where he sat and get a little sad he wasn't there.

And she cleaned him up. She took off his tiny shirt, found the holes, and sewed him back up. She cleaned his fur and brushed it, giving him a full spa treatment. And now he's home again, looking refreshed and ready for another few decades of love.

Maybe it's just me, but does it look like he's smiling now?

Here he is back in his place, with all the other stuffed animals from my childhood.

In the back is the mini-me doll my mother handmade, wearing a dress from when I was an infant. She has the mole on the cheek and everything - this was during the Cabbage Patch Kids era, and her handmade dolls to match kids were the best. In front is Homer Bear. He has a swollen nose, to match my dad's after he had nasal surgery when I was maybe 12 or so? The Raggedy Ann is the oldest one here - I have pictures of me next to her in my first week - she was bigger than me. Sydney is the koala bear - he lost his nose, sadly. And my unicorn and lamb are not named, but I've had the lamb almost as long as Raggedy Ann. I can't tell you anything about the unicorn other than I've had her for a very long time.

Maybe I'll give each of these up to my daughter for refreshing, one at a time.