Multiple Personality Terms & FAQs

 

Terms

• Multiple, Multiplicity - I don't like the term Dissociative Identity Disorder. I don't feel disordered; I'm functioning okay. So I prefer to say I'm a multiple and talk about my multiplicity instead.
• Singleton - someone who is not multiple, 'normal' people (who most certainly may have other mental conditions, just not this one)
• Alter, Other, Personality, Inside People - There are several people that share my body. I use the term 'alter' a lot; other multiples don't like the term.
• Primary/Host - the personality that is out most of the time, and is usually the 'face' of the system that everyone else knows them as.
• System - all of the alters together as a group. Some decisions have to be made in the best interests of the system, not an individual. 
• Front, Out - The front is the position controlling the body; to front or to out is to be in that position.
• Switch - We take turns being in control of the body. A switch is when we change who is in control
• Switchy - If we are switching rapidly, or feel like a switch is imminent. Sometimes several alters are paying close attention to the outside world.
• Mixey, Co-Conscious (co-con) - Sometimes two alters can share control of the body.
• Little - Alters who are children are common in multiples. I have two/three littles.
• Age-Slider - Alters don't always stay the same. One of my littles is an age slider; sometimes he is younger, sometimes older.
• Trigger - Some things 'trigger', or bring out, certain alters, sometimes unexpectedly and perhaps forcefully. Multiples have to learn what triggers certain alters and be ready to deal with them.
• Integration - This can be a triggering concept to multiples. The therapy world defaults to integrating multiples, helping them combine and merge until they are a single whole person. Many multiples resist this idea. I am one of them; I enjoy being a multiple and would not undo it if I could.

Pronouns and Address

We use plural pronouns (they/them/theirs and we/our/ours) in most cases, if talking about our experience as a system. I'll use singular pronouns if referring to a specific alter. Specific alters can be addressed by name, or our system name (Meronym) can be used to refer to any one or all of us at the same time.

FAQs

How long have you been a multiple?

I diagnosed myself in the spring and summer of 2009. So I've known for several years now. But I've probably always been splintered. In retrospect, I have recognized at least one of my alters in my behavior about 20 years ago. I have very few clear memories of my childhood, and that is likely because I wasn't present for all of it.

What about the trauma that caused you to split?

First of all, someone's traumatic experiences are personal, and not something you just ask them about - kind of like someone's genitals, or if they're adopted, or if they have a criminal record. If you ought to know such things, they'll tell you; it's not your business to ask. But since I personally don't mind answering questions... Many multiples are caused to split by traumatic experiences as very young children. They can't escape what's happening, so their minds split in pieces, leaving some piece there to deal with the trauma but splitting of a core that's protected. It's amazing what our minds can do. I don't have an early-childhood trauma. I split anyway. I did have a lot of trauma as a teenager, but I'm pretty sure that I split long before that. No reason that we know of; my brain just decided to be that way.

How many of you are there, and can I meet them all?

The exact makeup of my internal cast varies from time to time, but I usually come back to having a core of five, with two to six second-level alters. Some of us are very friendly, but others don't come out except for very specific situations. Some alters will make their own friends, if they find certain people 'safe' to be around. If you want to meet and/or befriend individuals, you should talk to me separately about that.

What if I don't like your alters, or don't want to deal with it?

That's fine. This is my issue, my condition - my reality - not yours. Until you've met anyone other than M, then M is who I am to you. It's like meeting someone who is part of a family. You don't have to like their brothers and sisters to be friends with them. You probably have to learn to get along with their siblings if you end up being really close with them, though.

What is it like to have other people in your head?

There is no one way to describe it. Every person experiences it differently. Each alter may experience it differently as well. And it changes over time. I do manage a Facebook page that is kind of about what it's like day-to-day - https://www.facebook.com/multiplicityofme/ - follow if the topic interests you. One of my favorite videos that explains some of it is available on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfPk-hrJYuY&t=8s. Jessica (and her system) do a great job of explaining their experience.

Do you think I might be a multiple?

There is no way that I can answer this for another person. Everyone has moments of dissociation. For most people, they pass. If you're asking the question, it's probably a 'no'. I accepted that I was a multiple when I really just couldn't deny it any more. Sometimes I find myself doubting it again, but then I switch and can't possibly deny it.

I know that I am multiple - what advice do you have?

• Every multiple experiences it a little differently - don't expect your experience to be the same as ours, or anyone else's.
• Relax and try to work with, rather than against, your system. They are there to help you survive Life. Your brain created these alters for a reason, and they are on your side (at least in the long term). Like a family, you all are stuck with one another.
• Find a mental health professional who wants you to succeed - whatever that means to you and your system.
• If your mental health professional doesn't believe in multiplicity, or thinks integration is your only path, fire them and find someone else.
• Set up routines that anyone in the system can follow so that everyone knows what to do.
• Be flexible and know that not everyone will follow the plan.
• Find ways to communicate among your system. Journal, color, email, write on a white-board, record voicemails - whatever works for you.
• Get to know your alters - they can be your best friends and best family. Like family, you may not always get along, but you're always together.

I want to learn more - where can I do my own research?

• WebMD's description: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/dissociative-identity-disorder-multiple-personality-disorder
• There are many many books written by or about multiples. Some are good; some are awful.
• Many multiples keep a blog of their experiences. I suggest you search on your own.
• United States of Tara is a TV show about a multiple - the first season has some pretty fair representation (aside from the magic costume changes that are awesome and I want).