The problem is that neither of these is the answer to the problem. If you take the stick away from the bully, he'll just pick up a rock or something else and continue his aggression. If you give every kid a stick, now you're teaching them all to be violent.
The answer is 'no'. Literally, the answer is 'NO'. The sticks don't matter. Your problem is this kid that's a bully. Someone needs to teach him not to hurt other people. It would be great if you could do that by posting a sign that said, "No-hitting Playground." But we know that doesn't work either. It's weak and passive.
But what about punishment? One way is to spank the child - one whack for each strike he made against someone else. That will teach him to associate hurting people with pain - and that might be what it takes to stop him - it's the only thing that works for some kids. Or put him in some sort of 'time-out' (prison). Where he'll hang out with other bullies and they'll continue that focus on aggression. Neither of those work either, because they continue to make violence being about aggression and asserting power.
No, you stop the bully from hitting other kids by taking the stick away from him, and then finding out what's driving him to hit other kids. Does he have a mental issue that pushes him toward violence? Maybe he's only aping what he sees at home. Maybe he's lashing back out against kids who are bullying him at other times. Maybe he's frightened of the world he's in and doesn't know how to handle that. To find out what's causing his violence, it takes spending time with him, investing in him. It will take more than a 30-second reaction. It will take more than telling all the kids to 'be nice'. And it will take more than dealing with who has a stick.
originally posted June 15, 2016
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