Pronouns as Canaries

I have some outside reading to refer you to this time - 'Pronouns are the Canary in the Coal Mine' - go ahead; go read it first. But the short version is that telling someone your pronouns is a simple measure of how they will (or won't) respect you overall.

We wear a vest almost all the time when we're out of the house. When I meet people, I will often point to the patches on my vest as I introduce myself. One has our name, and the other shows our pronouns. After I've done that, I generally won't say much about my pronouns, though I typically will use plural pronouns in conversation a lot (for those new to my space, we use both plural and singular personal pronouns - I/me/my/mine and we/us/our/ours - depending on intent).

Religion, Worship, Prayer

 A couple of friends lately have brought up the subject of prayer and worship with me, and I rather like one of the answers I've typed out, so I'll share parts of it. 

First, context. I was raised casually-Christian. In that I understood I was a Christian, I went to church a handful of times a year with various family members, but I didn't really have any active worshipping or churching happening in my life. I also occasionally went to synagogue or temple with various friends or classmates. I went to school with a lot of Jewish friends, so 7th and 8th grade meant a lot of Bar and Bat Mitzvahs (is there a collective term for that?). I went to a Baptist summer camp, and was baptized at least a couple of times (I'm pretty sure I was baptized as a baby, too?).

As I got older, I learned more about other religions, both real-world and fictional.  I took a couple of cultural anthropology courses, which were enthralling for examining religions from without. Sci-fi and fantasy fiction world-building have to include religion as part of those worlds, and often include a lot of thought and discussion about how a particular religious view can influence entire moral structures and behavior mores. If you ask me now about my guiding faith, I'll point you toward IDIC (https://meronym-thoughts.blogspot.com/p/idic-infinite-diversity-in-infinite.html). Yep, that's from Star Trek.

You Can Be Anything You Want To Be

 You can be anything you want to be. You can even be 'just' what you are...

I was a Gifted Child(TM) and was told over and over I could be anything. And when I got into the working world, I had multiple bosses, during reviews, push me toward that next promotion or that harder, higher-paying job.

But you know what? I don't want a promotion. I like what I do, and I am REALLY good at it. I feel valued by my coworkers and clients and supported by my boss, and I love having the answer for things when people ask. 

Better yet, I get paid a very comfortable salary and have excellent working hours (from home even), and have plenty of time and energy left to do non-work things.

It took a while to stop feeling guilty because I wasn't going for CEO and President and stuff, and instead just enjoy where I'm at. But I'm there.

My Food Truck Idea - 'Packed Lunch'

I've said before that if I ever wanted to open a food truck, it would be 'Packed Lunch' - all premade/cold foods, tossed in a paper sack, just like we got as kids for taking to school. For one price, maybe $5, you pick one of each of the following:

• One premade sandwich. Pick from whatever sandwiches I'm offering today. But always PB&J as an option. They are all on plain white bread. No artisan fancy breads here.
• PB&J - creamy peanut butter and cheap grape jelly.
• Bologna & Cheese - that's plain American cheese slices and cheap meat-like product.
• Today's Sandwich - this is whatever I either found cheap makings for, had leftovers of, or just felt like making. Maybe it's a grilled cheese, maybe it's a tortilla wrap. After Thanksgiving, for example, it's likely to be turkey or ham for the next couple of weeks. Less of these available will be available each day - get 'em early.
• One Fruit Side - an apple, banana, applesauce, or fruit rollup.
• One bag of chips. I'll get the big mixed bag pack of Doritos, Cheetos, Lays, etc. One of each will be in the window, and when we run out, I grab the one in the window, and we're out of that.
• One dessert - a jello cup, pudding cup, or pack of cookies. Sometimes that'll be one cookie in a ziploc because I made cookies; sometimes it'll be Oreos from the store multi-pack. But only one cookie option at any given time.
• One drink box - milk, chocolate milk, apple juice, maybe a small bottled water as an option.

Everything's laid out in order - you hand me $5, I grab a paper bag and grab one thing in each column as you pick 'em. I hand you the bag - no waiting to be called. If something runs out, it's no longer available for the day. 

After you pay, there's a table with mayo & mustard, napkins, and plastic knives for cutting your sandwich or apple if you need to. That should be all you need.

He Didn't Hit Me Today

I'm just waiting to be hit...

My shoulders are hunched and I'm making as little noise as I can while typing away on my computer. When my husband walks into the room, I roll my chair back so that I'm out of his way. Facing him, but sitting very still, and making no eye contact. I wait for him to indicate what he wants.

No, it's fine; he just came into the kitchen to refill his glass of water. He does that, and then heads back to his office. Some of the mental alarms quiet down, and I can relax a little and go back to work. But I'll still keep an ear out for any threats.

My Editing Process

This week's writing work has been editing work. I'm in the process of editing two pieces for a friend. I'm not a professional editor; I just help out on projects for myself and a specific friend or two. So I sat down and thought about when I do editing work for other people. Here's an overview of MY typical process. 

Be Bad at Something You Want To Be Good At

Today, another read of something Ferret has written and how it speaks to me.

The Dreadful Necessity Of Imperfection

In this one, Ferret talks about trying something new, in this case a podcast. And his fears that the first ones will be poorly done, with mistakes, imperfections, poor judgement calls... you know, the results of being new. In time, he'll develop patterns, skills, tricks, and better judgement. But the first ones will probably be rough. 

In high school, I remember my daughter sitting in the car next to me, bemoaning the fact that she would probably never be as good at this one thing as one of her friends. Now, the friend only had this one thing that she was really good at (in the context of our conversations, at least). This friend spent all her practice time on this one thing, and was super-good at it. My daughter, on the other hand, had a half-dozen hobbies she was working on, including this thing. And to be honest, she was pretty good at all of them. She was 'good' at all of them. But the friend was 'great' at this one. My daughter couldn't see being 'great'. I asked her if she was interested in giving up all of her other hobbies to focus on that one thing, and if maybe then she could be 'great' at it. She admitted that maybe she wasn't interested in paying that price for greatness; all of her hobbies were important to her, not just that one.

I am a 'Former Gifted Kid', with all the attendant baggage that comes with it. I was always pretty good at most things I picked up, almost instantly. I didn't have to work hard just to be 'okay' at things; they came naturally. I played piano, studied martial arts, sang, and other stuff. And sometimes I veered toward 'great' in these things; but just with a minimal effort, I got to start off at 'good'. There were things I would have to start at 'poor' with, like, say, dancing. I'm not a natural dancer; I'm in the 'poor but can follow directions if they are repeated enough times' category. But being 'poor' at it was hard, so I quit quickly, or even just didn't start on those things. I avoided the things that would take significant effort just to keep up with others. Or I started the things, and then quit when it demanded effort. For instance, I wrote a lot of poetry, briefly. I enjoyed it, but it was bad poetry. So I stopped writing, until many years later.